The Idea Generator
Gives me one good idea and has the victory tour planned before I've taken a single real step.
"Quiet doesn't calm my brain down. Quiet just hands it an empty conference room and a fresh whiteboard."
The book
Be Fucking Real
Get Out of Your Own Damn Head and Take Back the Chair
My brain once decided a watermelon needed an audit.
That's how it goes in here. One simple yes turns into a whole damn meeting. This is the honest, funny, sometimes messy story of learning that those voices can talk without getting to decide.
Kindle + paperback available on Amazon.
Get it on Amazon →
You'll check out on Amazon.
Kindle + paperback available on Amazon.
Get it on Amazon →
You'll check out on Amazon.
What it is
Not a workbook. Not a tidy redemption story.
Be Fucking Real is a memoir-style book about overthinking, self-sabotage, perfection, fear, permission, and the running commentary that turns ordinary decisions into emergencies.
It's built from real moments. A watermelon that somehow needed an audit. One fun invitation that turned into a full committee meeting. An imaginary business empire, built entirely in my head before I'd done a single real thing.
Some of them are funny. Some of them are not funny at all.
None of it comes from a finished, healed, fully figured out version of me. It's written from inside the meeting, while I'm still learning to stop treating every thought like an instruction.
"The committee still works here. I'm just learning to run the meeting."
Meet the Committee
The committee is what I call all the voices that show up at once. The fears, the protective voices, the Negative Nancy commentary. They get loud, they talk over each other, and every one of them has an opinion about what I should do next.
Here are a few of the regulars you'll meet in the book.
Weather, Financial, Safety, Work, and Home
The protective side of the table. They show up carrying every concern and worst-case scenario they can find.
"None of them are evil. None of them are necessarily lying to me. They're trying to protect me."
Adventure and Fun
The yes side of the table. The parts of me that want to laugh, relax, and do something that actually sounds fun. Usually the first to get talked over.
Perfection and Rebellion
They look like enemies. They're actually partners, and not healthy ones.
"Perfection created all the rules. Rebellion offered the escape when those rules became unbearable."
Negative Nancy
The running commentary that turns one ordinary moment into a whole story about who I am.
"Unfortunately, she knows where I live."
And then there's you.
The Chairperson
The voices are allowed to speak. They don't automatically get a vote. Somebody has to lead the meeting and make the call, and that seat belongs to you.
"If you've got a committee of your own, and I'd bet money you do, the chair at the head of it already belongs to you."
Take a look inside
A few real moments, straight from the book.
The committee meeting
"This is what I mean when I talk about the committee in my head. One question comes in, and suddenly every concern, responsibility, possibility, and worst-case scenario wants a seat at the table. It's not that any one of them is wrong. Weather really is a consideration in December. Money really is real. Work really does exist. That's what makes this pattern so convincing, every voice is holding a piece of something true. The problem isn't that they're lying to me. The problem is that all of them showed up to vote on a question that was actually pretty simple underneath everything: did I want to spend a day laughing with someone I cared for, or not?"
From Chapter Two: How One Simple Yes Became a Whole Damn Meeting
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Meet the Idea Generator
"Somewhere in there, all the ideas turned into a “Be Real” business model. If I could use these tools to create and sell a book, why couldn't I help other people learn to use them too, so they could go build something of their own and maybe make some income doing it? I had the whole thing mapped out. A basic intro option for people who just wanted to get their feet wet and a much, bigger, deeper option for people who wanted to go all the way in. I had built an entire empire. All in my fucking head. Meanwhile… I literally have not even created a single fucking…. ANYTHING!!!!! And you wonder why I'm exhausted. My brain will not shut the fuck up."
From the Opening: The Emergency Meeting
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What the paperback looks like
The first page of Chapter One, straight from the book.
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"The thoughts are allowed to speak. What is not okay is treating every single one of them like it automatically gets a vote. I mean, let's be real. Somebody needs to make the fucking decision."
From Chapter Two
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What you'll find inside
The chapter titles pretty much tell you what kind of book this is.
The chapters
- Opening: The Emergency Meeting
- Chapter One: The Watermelon Needed an Audit
- Chapter Two: How One Simple Yes Became a Whole Damn Meeting
- Chapter Three: My Brain Produced an Entire Documentary
- Chapter Four: The Fuck-It Feeling
- Chapter Five: The Day I Wanted Everyone and No One
- Chapter Six: Shrinking Myself After the Fact
- Chapter Seven: Nobody Is Going to Care Anyway
- Chapter Eight: Fuck Yeah, I Passed
- Chapter Nine: The Desk Already Answered
- Chapter Ten: I Let "I Don't Know" Be the Answer
- Chapter Eleven: Professionally, I Evaluate a Decision
- Chapter Twelve: Purging the Negative Nancy Commentary
- Closing: The Committee Still Works Here
The details
- Memoir-style, written in my own voice
- Kindle + paperback
- 118 pages (paperback)
- 5.5 × 8.5 inches
- Standard color
- White paper
- Matte cover
You might connect with this if…
- One simple yes can turn into a whole damn meeting in your head.
- Your brain has built an entire empire before you've taken one real step.
- One comment can turn into an entire documentary.
- You swing between doing it perfectly and "fuck it, fuck all of it."
- You don't feel allowed to want something without justifying it six different ways first.
- Ordinary decisions feel like emergencies.
If that's you, pull up a chair. You're not the only one.
This book shares my personal experiences and reflections. It isn't medical, mental health, or other professional advice.
Why I wrote it
I've started so many things in my life. I've had ideas that stayed ideas until they felt heavy to carry around. With this book, I wanted to finally see one of my ideas all the way through.
And the idea I finally finished was the one I know best: the committee in my own head. All the freaking voices that tell me what to do, and the chairperson who's supposed to be running the meeting.
I'm not writing from some finished, healed, fully figured out version of myself. I still overthink. I still catch my brain sprinting toward a finish line before I've picked a sport. I wrote this from inside the same mess, still learning how loud my own mind can get.
The committee still works here. I'm just learning to run the meeting.
Not sure which voice runs your meetings? Take the Self-Trust Quiz →
The chair already belongs to you.
Kindle + paperback available on Amazon.
Get it on Amazon →
You'll check out on Amazon.